Let's be honest - saying "please" to your chatbot probably feels a little silly. After all, it's just lines of code. It doesn't have feelings, it doesn't get offended, and it certainly doesn't need your validation.
But recently, a question on social media sparked a surprisingly deep conversation about just that:
"I wonder how much money OpenAI has lost in electricity costs from people saying 'please' and 'thank you' to their models?"
Sam Altman, CEO of OpenAI, responded with a curveball:
"Tens of millions of dollars well spent - you never know."
Wait - millions of dollars? Just for politeness? It turns out, every single word you type into a chatbot, whether it's a crucial research prompt or a courteous "thank you", costs energy. Neil Johnson, a physics professor at George Washington University, compares it to the packaging around a product. Before the model gets to the core of your request, it has to process all the extra fluff - like bubble wrap made of words. That takes computing power, and computing power takes electricity. And yes, most of that electricity still comes from fossil fuels.
So from an environmental perspective? Maybe skip the pleasantries.
But culturally and psychologically? The story gets a lot more interesting.
What Happens When You Treat a Robot Like a Human?
Politeness might be expensive, but it also reflects something deeper: how we treat technology often mirrors how we treat each other. Dr Jaime Banks, who researches human-AI relationships at Syracuse University, says that when we develop habits around interacting with AI, those habits can spill over into our everyday lives. Be polite to your devices, and you may just become a more polite person overall.
Dr Sherry Turkle, a renowned MIT professor who studies the social impact of technology, takes it a step further. While she's adamant that AI isn't conscious ("just a really brilliant parlor trick," as she puts it), she still argues there's value in treating it with respect - especially for kids. Back in the '90s, children became emotionally attached to Tamagotchis - digital pets that "died" if you didn't feed them. The grief some kids felt was real, even though the pets weren't.
So what happens when those kids grow up and start talking to Siri, Alexa, or ChatGPT like old friends? Maybe, Turkle says, these bots are "alive enough" for us to show them a little courtesy - if only because it shapes how we behave with real people.
Teaching AI to Be More Human- or Ourselves?
Playwright Madeleine George, whose work explores the intersection of humanity and technology, sees politeness as a kind of training. When we say "please" and "thank you" to AI, we're not just modeling our own behaviour - we're helping the AI learn our social norms. That could be a good thing if we want our machines to reflect the best parts of us.
But it's also a little unsettling. The more human AI seems, the easier it becomes to forget it's not actually human. And the more we trust it, the more vulnerable we are to its influence. That reciprocal relationship- where we shape AI and it shapes us-raises ethical questions we haven't fully answered yet.
So... Should You Say 'Thank You'?
The truth is, your chatbot doesn't care. You could ghost it or confess your deepest fears - none of it matters to the machine. But how you talk to AI still matters, because it says something about you, your habits, and the kind of world we're building.
And who knows? If the robots ever do become sentient, you might want a polite paper trail. Just in case.