NEW DELHI, June 4: Robin Uthappa, a key member of the 2007 World T20 winning Indian team, has revealed that he battled clinical depression and suicidal thoughts for nearly two years during his career, a phase when cricket was perhaps the only thing that kept him from �jumping off a balcony�.
The big-hitting top-order batsman, who represented India in 46 ODIs and 13 T20 Internationals, was picked by Rajasthan Royals for Rs 3 crore for this year�s IPL, which is currently suspended because of the COVID-19 pandemic.
�I remember around 2009 to 2011, it was constant and I would deal with that on a daily basis. There were times where I wasn�t even thinking about cricket, it was probably the farthest thing in my mind,� he said during the Royal Rajasthan Foundation�s live session �Mind, Body and Soul�.
�I was thinking about how I would survive this day and move on to the next, what�s happening to my life and in which direction am I heading. Cricket kept my mind off of these thoughts but it became really difficult on non-match days and during the off-season.
�On days, I would just be sitting there and would think to myself on the count of three, I�m going to run and jump off of the balcony but something kind of just held me back,� he recalled. It was at this stage that the 34-year-old began maintaining a diary before reaching out for professional help. � PTI