Manish Goswami

REVERSE SWEEP

Ajit, somehow, always manages to keep himself busy with new ideas. And, he makes it a point to share his latest concepts.

While we were coming out after a hard day at office, Ajit quipped, “There is no second prize for losing an election.”

“What?”

“Look, we should make hay while the sun shines. Now is the time we can make a fortune by advising parties and candidates on ways to make their campaign more effective.”

“Ajit, don’t tell me that you are trying to be another Prashant Kishor.”

“No, not at all. I never imitate others. Kishor has perfected the art of helping parties in formulating strategies, while my concept is different. I plan to impart a crash course on different styles of campaigning. Taking a cue from the success stories scripted by several leading politicians, I made modules to help the candidates choose their pick which would blend well with their personality.”

“I see.”

“My module is based on the way a candidate would campaign to impress the target audience in public rallies.”

“What is so special about your campaign module?”

“Well, it is very easy to comprehend and quite flexible. With the help of a mimic artiste and video clippings, we will show the different styles of campaigning to the candidates who approach us.”

“What are your campaign modules?”

“The modules are named after the individuals who stand out with their trademark style of campaigning.”

Tejriwal style: It can also be termed as the shoot-and-scoot style. Those who want to take a leaf out of Tejriwal’s book must be able to lash out at their opponents with all guns blazing. They must hit out at their rivals by making a series of unsubstantiated charges. The charges must be made with conviction so that it strikes a chord with the crowd. The candidate need not worry about the defamation cases which might be filed against him. He can always apologise after the elections are over.

Todi style: If used with perfection, the candidate can reap rich dividends by adopting the Todi style. The candidate must be able to arouse a feel-good factor among the crowd. The candidate must be able to convince the audience that achhe din is just round the corner. And, if possible, he must be able to impress them with assurances like – the accounts of everyone will be credited by an amount of Rs 15,000. To make this style of campaigning successful, the candidate must be able to shift the blame of the present problems to the governance of the past.

Didi style: Anyone wishing to campaign in this style must try to cultivate the persona of being a rebel without a cause. While addressing the crowd, the candidate, in a very angry tone, must lambast all his/her political rivals. The candidate must be able to emotionally surcharge the crowd with an animated speech replete with hand gestures. The candidate must be able to drive home the message to the crowd that he/she is their sole saviour.

Hemen style: Before adopting this style, the candidate must do some exercises to improve his vocal cords as during the campaign trail, he must be able to shout at the top of his voice, and lash out at his opponents by comparing them to monkeys and cats. Apart from addressing rallies, the candidate must be able to sing and dance with full gusto.

“I see. But which is the best style of campaigning?”

“None of them.”

“Why?”

“The most effective style of campaigning is the one carried out in silent mode at the dead of night just before the votes are cast.”

“What’s that style?”

“Distribution of blankets, liquor, and, of course, hard cash!”

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